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Narrator: Take that politics! The Holy Blade Order news is next!

Benevolence: Hai Everyone! Welcome to The Holy Blade Order news! Live in The World that Never Was!

This is your Host Benevolence Crystalised!

And Co Host Niko Bellic Broadcasting Live at Alderney, Liberty City!

Niko Bellic: Hello Kingdom Hearts.

Benevolence: Okay now we are going to take some callers!

Alex: Hello this is Alex I work in Caligula’s Casino. I want to ask about America.

Carjacker: America reminds me of a Jungle. Because the bathrooms stink, the food is pure terrorism and Full of maniacs.

Alex: Really?

Niko Bellic: I’m not sure...

Benevolence: I live in Liberty City! Yay me!

Alex: But I live in San Andreas, Las Venturas.

Carjacker: Who cares!

Niko Bellic: Okay next caller...

Benevolence: Aww that was fun!

Niko Bellic: It is?

Caller: Hi I’m Neu!

Benevolence: Okay! Hi Neu what’s your Question?

Neu: My mom got killed in the war. And my dad died of Lung Cancer... Is there a place where I can stay?

Benevolence: In a Shelter home!

Neu: Thanks bye!

Benevolence: You’re welcome!

Niko Bellic: That was quick...

Benevolence: Yeah I know!

Niko Bellic: Okay for our guest for the show Jason Voorhees!

Jason Voorhees: ...

Benevolence: Wow! Nice name!

Niko Bellic: More like Friday the 13th... and Benevolence are you sure you’re in Kingdom Hearts?

Benevolence: Not really I went To Texas and a rural cop told me to go to a detour he said! Why?

Niko Bellic: A Rural cop... A detour... A Texas.... Why does it seem so familiar...?

Carjacker: Texas Cop Detour Massacre?

Niko Bellic: Something like that...

Jason Voorhees: ...

Benevolence: Okay Mister Jason Voorhees. What would you like to talk about? (Still thinking)

-Jason Voorhees Pulls out a Machete-

Benevolence: Nice Machete!

Niko Bellic: Um Benevolence...

Benevolence: Yes! What is it Mister Niko Bellic?

Niko Bellic: I think he is gonna murder you...

Benevolence: Hahaha! Nice joke!

Niko Bellic: No. I’m serious.

Benevolence: Oh okay! So Mister Voorhees why do you wear a Hockey mask? (Maybe I should wear one too ^.^)

Jason Voorhees: ...

Leatherface Pulls out a Chainsaw

Niko Bellic: AH! I remember now! Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

Carjacker: Um... Congratulations?

Niko Bellic: Yeah! I win!

Benevolence: Nice Mask!

Freddy Kruger: Jason I’m not done with you yet!

Jason Voorhees: ...!

Benevolence: Nice Claws!

Niko Bellic: Wait Elm Street?

Pigssy: WHEEEEEE!!!

Niko Bellic: Carcer City?

Benevolence: Hai where did you buy your Red Chainsaw?

Niko Bellic: Hey Benevolence are you okay?

Benevolence: Shh quiet I’m watching the fight of the century!

Pinhead: Greetings...

Niko Bellic: Oh I give up!

Benevolence: Hai um... Are you okay? Hey Niko Bellic who is the serial killer in Friday the 13th?

Niko Bellic: Jason Voorhees?

Benevolence: Wrong! An unnamed Serial killer!

Niko Bellic: No! He was in the 2009 version!

Benevolence: Oh too bad I was about to play SAW IV

Niko Bellic: ...

Carjacker: ...

The Unnamed Guy from the SAW series: ...

Benevolence: That’s it for the show see you all soon! Oh cool a Machete!

Zombie: Uh...

Benevolence: Dawn of the Dead...?

-The Whole Area Causes a Large monster movie Battle-

Noah: ...

Haruhi Suzumiya: Oh Cool!

Benevolence: Haruhism?

Noah: Can we stop the show already!?

Benevolence: Shh I’m watching!

Noah: ...

-Noah Notices the Jason Voorhees is about to Stab him and Runs away-

Niko Bellic: So we are going to need an extension.

Carjacker: Yeah.

Malevolence: I’m ending this show...

Benevolence: This is the BEST monster movie battle I will start filming!

Pinhead: And the winner will...?

Carjacker: The winner takes all.

Malevolence: Winner kills all.

Benevolence wears a Hockey Mask

Benevolence Voorhees: I’m Benevolence Voorhees!

Malevolence Sighs

Niko Bellic: This is being a wide scale parody... I’ll end the episode.

Malevolence: Goodbye everyone. This is Malevolence Ribbons Crystalised, Broadcasting Live at Camp Crystal Lake for the Holy Blade Order news.

Niko Bellic: Then how are those guys there?

Benevolence: I think it’s because of the Open Portal named... Monster Maker 1000...

Malevolence: Not it’s because Satan just came to America in the TV show Supernatural.

Niko Bellic: No wonder...

Bugs Bunny: That’s all folks!

Everyone: !?

-The show ends. No seriously...-

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