Aisaka Taiga: With all bad things happening in this world... Like the Michael Jackson’s son almost getting ZAP’D by a Stun gun! Or Ellen has dominated earth! This is Liberty City’s One and only news the Lucky News! With Malevolence Crystalised and Co Host Benevolence with Niko Bellic and The Carjacker!
Lucky News! Episode One! – Our First Episode! -Edit
Benevolence: Hai guys and Welcome to Lucky News! We are Live in Liberty City, Alderney! First we will take our Callers!
Caller: Hi I’m Ken from Carcer City. There is a Pig like man in our area!
Benevolence: Oh... Cool!
Malevolence: His name is Pigssy a mentally ill killer from Manhunt 1. He thinks he is a pig through he is Human. He kill’s his victim’s using a Red Chainsaw is that all you need?
Caller: WHAT!? I gotta tell the others!
-The phone hangs up-
Benevolence: Next Caller!
Caller: Malevolence Stop killing people!
Malevolence: Who are you?
Caller: It’s me Kate!
Katherine: Malevolence! Please stop!
Niko Bellic: Okay Next caller.
Caller: Hello! I’m totally (censored) up!� I can’t let ZACH join Kingdom Hearts Legacy!
User Malevolence: I know who you are...
Malevolence: Me too...
Benevolence: Me three!
Niko Bellic: You’re M-
Carjacker: No need to say it.
Malevolence: Okay I hate my job!
Benevolence: Why so negative older sister?
Niko Bellic: Next Caller.
Caller: Hello I’m Lazlow I can’t get a job in a Radio station. I’m funny, but nobody wants to hire me.
Benevolence: Good you can jo-
Malevolence: Go to the West Coast Talk Radio. And return to Entertaining America. Also you’re not funny.
Lazlow: Okay... Hey thanks.
Niko Bellic: Now it’s time for the Mail.
Carjacker: This is from Anonymous of the Shakugan no Shana forums. Dear Benevolence, I find you the opposite of your antagonising alter ego will you make a debut in any Fanon stories?
Benevolence: Well unnamed! I’m only exclusive for Segments like this! Unless I will get hired in any Fanon stories!
Carjacker: The next one is from your retired Co Vandal Ragnarok via E-Mail. Dear User Malevolence, Do you plan on finishing the Wikia devouring...?
User Malevolence: There is a lot more to do in a Wikia that vandalising it. So no can do. But if you wish you may Vandalise here yourself but I won’t really care RG. You will be the first blocked user cheers!
Benevolence: Okay! That’s all for the Lucky News #Messages! If you wish to contact us please do at
Malevolence’s Talk Page our Animesuki forums account is currently being created! Please wait! So will our Yahoo messenger thank you!
Naga: I personally like Liberty City, Alderney.
Benevolence: Me too!
Malevolence: I must admit... I like it here.
Niko Bellic: Now for a moment of Silence.
Jason Voorhees: ...
Benevolence: Our news is guaranteed truth about the real world!
Malevolence: Too bad...
Kyle: Actually all of us never donated...
Malevolence: Um... Yay me...?
Benevolence: This marks the end of the Lucky News see you next time! On Lucky News!
Everyone: Bye Bye!
Aisaka Taiga: That was Lucky News. The only news that says the Interesting truth about the real world! See you next time!
This Episode orriginally had a Feed the Childeren report from NBC news but was removed.